They say that you should be able to pitch yourself in no more than 30 seconds.

Around the time it takes an elevator to go from ground floor to Penthouse.

Having said that, I've never heard anyone pitch anything in an elevator.

In fact, most people stop talking when they get in. 

This concept suddenly seems somewhat annoying.

What annoys me even more is that we call them lifts, not elevators.

Well, I certainly do.

I'm British after all.

This means that I'm not cool enough to pull off any Americanisms.

I'm also not cool enough for high fives.

Rap music.

Or saying the word awesome.

I can however, write cool copy. 

Don't worry, I'm aware that by saying something's cool, I'm making it uncool.

It's the same as 'trust'.

You can't say 'trust me'.

Because no one will.

You have to imply it. 

Cleverly weave it into the copy.

You can't just blurt out that you have over a decade of experience.

That you've worked for some of the biggest brands.

Or the best agencies. 

That your copy is the sort of copy that people love to read.

You just have to give folks a little credit.

And assume they'll pick up on the subtleties.

Anyway, this is my floor.

It was awesome talking to you. 

Have a great day.